Im Sober and My Spouse Is Not Marriage and Sobriety

It’s difficult to understand something we’ve never been through, but do your best to empathize with your partner’s addiction. This doesn’t mean that you condone it or allow it to continue. It just means that you can understand that they wouldn’t choose this type of lifestyle for themselves. Explore the following tips for spouses who are married to an addict in recovery to better support yourself and their recovery process. This is not just our slogan at Riverside Recovery. The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own.

Welcome to the Hello Someday Podcast, the podcast for busy women who are ready to drink less and live more. I’m Casey McGuire Davidson, ex-red wine girl turned life coach helping women create lives they love without alcohol. But it wasn’t that long ago that I was anxious, overwhelmed, and drinking a bottle of wine and night to unwind. I thought that wine was the glue, holding my life together, helping me cope with my kids, my stressful job and my busy life.

Considering Marriage or Commitment to a Person in Early Recovery

It wasn’t till I stopped drinking, that I realized that a lot of his drinking was sort of keeping up with I was driving a good bit of it. But I, you know, for the first month or so we didn’t go out, you know, we just didn’t go out to dinner, we didn’t have a date, super easy, because we had very young kids. But the first time we were going to go on a date night, once I had stopped drinking, I was terrified. And what’s interesting is we you know, I had to think a lot about it.

• Whatever you do, if you plan to stay in the relationship, know it’s going to be hard work.
• Even when they are no longer using drugs or alcohol, they become frustrated when no one trusts them and loved ones are waiting for them to make a mistake—or relapse.
• This could be trauma, mental illness, or negative thinking patterns.
• And not to say this case is that couples are really underserved.

After a rough bout of undiagnosed postpartum depression, my addiction took off, and I went from binge-drinking once a month to daily drinking to escape the depression and anxiety. I’d begun moving toward isolation, alienating my friends and family, and my son’s father was the last one to go. At First Steps Recovery, we are committed to helping those in their most desperate time. We are a Luxury Drug Treatment Center in Clovis. We provide alcohol & drug treatment programs in Fresno and surrounding areas. People visit us from various parts of California and all over the country.

Get Your Own Support

When your loved one was in active addiction, it’s likely that part of your identity was based on their addiction. A lot of your life revolved around worrying about them, trying to get them to change, and taking on their responsibilities around the home. Setting boundaries with a person in recovery is just as important as setting boundaries with someone in active addiction. This is because of the reality that they may relapse again. It’s also important to hold your spouse accountable for their behavior in recovery. And the therapist isn’t well versed in sort of the unique aspect, right, this.

• Setting boundaries with a person in recovery is just as important as setting boundaries with someone in active addiction.
• 7 percent of adults ages 18 and older have an alcohol abuse disorder.
• And it’s really sort of impacted how I relate to him and what I think about.
• It’s about our struggles to survive alcoholism recovery and hold our marriage together.
• Oftentimes, drug addicts are completely unaware of the devastation they are causing in the lives of those around them, especially within their own families.
• Watch for signs of backsliding into unhealthy ways, including placing blame and verbal abuse.

Childhood trauma can drive these feelings, but early sobriety is not the time to address it. What makes Casa Palmera distinct from other treatment facilities is our desire to not only heal the body, but also aiming to heal the mind and spirit. Possibly there were times when the person with the substance abuse disorder promised their spouses they are done with drugs marriage after sobriety only to relapse sometime later. If this was repeated severally, the spouse lost all trust and have difficulty trusting the now sober guy again. They wonder what makes this time different, treading the relationship with fear as they did previously, fearing triggering an argument or a slip. Addiction in a marriage can be a tremendous challenge to overcome.

Us Vs. Them: Why Sobriety Wasn’t the Marriage Saver I Thought It Would Be

Dr. Navarra works with couples in recovery and he provides resources and support for couples who have been impacted by addiction and are now in recovery. My wife, Sheri, and I, have recorded Untoxicated Podcast episodes about our relationship struggles, and they have both been downloaded over 400% more than our third top rated episode. Couples are hurting, and marriages are dying at the hands of this ferocious disease. Al-Anon is a great resource, but just like AA is not a good fit for everyone, couples need options in the ways they find help recovering their marriages from alcoholism.

Jenni oversees the clinical program and the clinical team at Gratitude Lodge as a whole. Jenni has worked in treatment for almost 14 years. Her background as a licensed therapist and her passion for helping others intersected with addiction recovery when she started working primarily in detox residential treatment. Sometimes supporting someone through recovery can be difficult, particularly in the early stages of recovery.

The Spouse

As such, reaching out for help is an important step in the recovery process. Counseling sessions with a professional therapist provide effective relationship tools to help marriages last after rehab. Accordingly, couples learn improved critical communication strategies. Also, during therapy, they can address any underlying issues that may have been impacted by addiction.